Stop Exposing Yourself to Anti-BW Propaganda!

black-woman-stressed-at-computerFor the last few months I have noticed a rise in propaganda designed to convince BW of their undesirability. This propaganda comes in many forms: social “science” surveys/ studies are the most popular, followed by articles on why you should worry that every non-BM that approaches you is only interested in your vagina (you know, because no other group of women have one), followed by articles on why BW should give unemployed, uneducated, ex-cons “a chance”, and if you don’t you are a “gold digging bitch”, followed by articles and videos on why BW are so evil and/or unattractive. Do I even need to mention rap “music”?

You may laugh and ask, who cares? Who would believe this nonsense?

Based on what I’ve seen, heard and read on several blogs, many impressionable young BW are believing it. Some of the older ones too. From what I can tell, these women started off with insecurity and self-esteem issues and the propaganda reinforced those feelings.

It’s hardly surprising when you consider that most BW are not exactly nurtured in the deeply misogynistic and colorist “Black Community”, nor American society at large. So, I completely understand why these women would fall for the okey doke.

For those of us who had great childhoods, filled with love, healthy male attention and positive reinforcement, the League of BW Haters will have to devise a different set of tricks. The BM anti-BW hate speech never worked on us, and is on a downward spiral even among less resistant BW, in fact it’s had the opposite of its intended effect and merely opened the eyes of many blindly loyal BW. Now, the LBWH is using BW (under the guise of “science” or religion) to throw us all under the proverbial bus, and convince us to surrender our lives, happiness, freedom, well-being and self-respect to the Black collective. Of course, since they are doing it in the name of “science” or God that makes it okay. I’ll give you the perfect example:

There’s a post on Beyond Black and White – Examining the Trend: The REAL Reasons Why Black Women and White Men Are Not Hooking Up (feel free to Google it) in which they discuss a study with a miniscule sampling of WM participants (134), none of whom had ever had a personal relationship of any kind with a BW, yet were asked their opinion of BW, in regards to romantic relationships, based on socialized racist stereotypes of BW. The conclusion, as I’m sure you can guess, is that most of these 134 WM were not interested in having a relationship with BW because they were too ignorant/lazy to make their own judgments about BW based on actually getting to know one individually. BUT they were interested in getting to know our bodies.

I thought the study was ridiculous, as did my husband (who is a WM) when I showed it to him. Based on the comments section, those of us BW in relationships with / marriaged to WM know that this “study” is absolute hogwash, but most of those who have little or no experience with WM or any other non-BM actually believed that the study must be accurate. After all, the person conducting the study is a BW, named Dr. Brittany Chevon Slatton (a social “scientist”). Apparently, that is supposed to make the study legitimate. We’re supposed to believe that an unbelievably tiny sampling can represent tens of millions, and we’re to ignore the fact that NONE of the men had ever personally known any BW. NOT ONE! So all of these men’s knowledge of BW was likely gained from BET, our “friends” in Hollyweird, the “liberal” media, rap “music” and other reliable sources.

To paraphrase one commenter, ‘Any discipline that has the word “science” in its name is not a real science.’ And she’s right, of course. Just ask your average Physicist, Biologist or Chemist.

Despite comments from several WM contradicting the findings of this social “study”, some of the BW commenters were deeply troubled by the “study” and its purported “findings”. This I did find puzzling. It seems to me that if I were going to choose between the opinion of WM who has actually had relationships with BW and WM who have never even been friends with a BW, I’d trust the former. But as I said, the study was conducted by a BW, so the BW reading the study and its “findings” were willing to accept it on that basis alone.

I don’t want to appear to be attacking intellectuals, BUT most that I’ve met are none too bright when it comes to the real world and those of us who inhabit it. And I hate the way they hide behind stats and “logic”. A wise man once said,

“There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies and statistics.” ~Benjamin Disraeli

And if you are of legal drinking age, you have probably already noticed that anything goes in American society (eugenics, racism, genocide, rape) so long as you can claim that there is a “logic” or “scientific reason” behind it.

It really bothers me that most Black women I come across these days, both online and off, believe in statistics like they believe in the Bible/God. What is worse, is that they often believe that their own individual Human lives can and will somehow be dictated by statistics produced and manipulated by others, not their own individual choices, and the quality of people they choose to invite into their lives.

It’s sad to realize how easily discouraged some BW are. And that is the purpose of it all. They want BW to despair and give up. THAT is the endgame of the game being played.

If BW really are all fat, horrible, uneducated, welfare queens, who are incapable of being faithful wives and loving mothers, wouldn’t we already know that about ourselves? Truths tend to be self-evident, even for people in denial. Why have the haters felt it necessary to stage this decades long, and (I imagine) quite expensive, multi-pronged media, entertainment and internet campaign to convince us that we’re less than nothing? Think about it.

I read something a while back. I can’t recall the exact words, but it went something like this, ‘Evil people don’t have to know each other to work together to stop you. ‘ That is definitely what is happening here. Make no mistake about it ladies. We have been targeted. We are considered a threat, and on many levels.

Fortunately, I was not raised in such a way that the LBWH propaganda machine could affect how I see myself and other BW. I know who I am, I know how I am, and there is no one who can convince me that my ethnicity, phenotype or gender make me less Human and worthy of love and respect than anyone else on this planet! My sense of self is the greatest gift that my mother and father could have given me. I will always be grateful to them for that.

I absolutely believe that my self-confidence and self-love are why I have always been lucky in love. I know, based on my own experiences, that if you love you others will find it easy to love you too. And I believe that the opposite also holds true. After all, who knows you better than you? If you believe you are unworthy of love, respect and commitment you have a snow ball’s chance of convincing anyone else. We all create our own reality with thoughts, which become feelings and then actions.

This is the area where many BW, due to circumstances beyond their control, are quite weak. So, this is the area where we, as a group, must strive to improve ourselves. This self-help starts with changing the channel, not clicking that link, closing that web page, turning off that “song” when you know that BW bashing is on its way, AND you must be willing to remove anti-BW haters from your circle of influence. They will do nothing more than damage your sense of self and fill your head with vile, self-defeating thoughts.

Even some non-Blacks have noticed what is going on, and some of the righteous have had the courage to speak out. For example:

Single Black Women: Admire Them and Leave Them Alone. This is my favorite part,

“For society to become concerned with the plight of black women now that black women are succeeding on their own terms would be comical if it weren’t so sad. … The fact that our society is saying black women need to find a good black man to settle down with is an insult.”

I could not agree with the author, Jeff Bolton, more. It’s a great article. If you are pro-BW, you’ll love it as much as I did. 🙂

His post reminded me of the most popular anti-BW strategy. Claiming that 55% of all BW have never been married. I investigated this “study” (which made it into TV news programs and even into respectable print outlets) and discovered that to come to this number, they had used children too young to legally marry in the United States, and women who were married but were now widows or divorced! So, the study was basically bull sh*t designed to convince BW to stop getting “over-educated” (as DBRs like to call it), gainfully employed, starting our own businesses (which are more successful on average than everyone else’s, btw) and concentrate on not being a threat to the egos of insecure BW hating BM, so that they’ll want to marry us in larger numbers. Please, feel free to do your own research on this topic. Knowing what you now know, is that 55% never married stat for BW still believable?

Always question the numbers used in “studies”, as well as the people and intent behind their creation. My number one question when I heard about this study was “why?” Why would anyone care enough to put time, energy and money into investigating the marriage patterns of Black women? Especially successful, highly educated, financially independent BW. What do they hope to get out of it? And why include kids, widows and divorcees among the “never married”? And why encourage BW to only seek BM, if they are so concerned about BW being married? There are nearly 2 million more BW than BM in America, and many of us are not even physically or emotionally attracted to BM, so that’s a bit puzzling. But I suppose it’s part of their game.

The way I see it, if I would not eat or drink something you offered me, I will also not heed your counsel or criticisms. The most important and empowering thing we BW can do for our own emotional well-being and life-long happiness is to simply STOP drinking down the psychological poisons offered to us on a daily basis. Stop letting the LBWH use our minds as their Summer homes. Stop reading, watching and listening to anti-BW propaganda. Even when it’s being promoted by other BW, in the name of “science” and “logic”, or just “keeping it real”. Let the haters kick rocks.

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About blackfemaleculture

I am an African American woman looking to connect with other African American women who are interested in reinventing a wholesome, empowering culture that feeds the minds and souls of African American women and their children.
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47 Responses to Stop Exposing Yourself to Anti-BW Propaganda!

  1. Sheesh! As a psychlogy student, crap like this makes me cringe. Further I am so tired of people reciting statistics/ science as fact as if it came straight from Zion.

    Especially when it pertains to black women it has been proven that people who hate black women will make statistics and studies have the results they decide to squeeze and manipulate.

    Black women have to be able to shut this mechanism off in our minds that makes us believe anything anyone says. We simply won’t be able to survive if we don’t. That is why I advocate black women completely ridding themselves of mainstream meadia because the garbage that filters through is poisonous enough to ruin our lives.

    “The way I see it, if I would not eat or drink something you offered me, I will also not heed your counsel or criticisms”

    I never thought of it like that but you’re right.

    “If BW really are all fat, horrible, uneducated, welfare queens, who are incapable of being faithful wives and loving mothers, wouldn’t we already know that about ourselves? Truths tend to be self-evident, even for people in denial. Why have the haters felt it necessary to stage this decades long, and (I imagine) quite expensive, multi-pronged media, entertainment and internet campaign to convince us that we’re less than nothing? Think about it.”

    This! So much! *Bows in deference* Nobody goes through this much trouble trying to smear/ degrade someone if there isn’t a reason behind it. That just doesn’t happen.Like you said black women need to think critically and ask myself *why* someone would even bother to do it. Intent is everything.

    Good post.
    Btw, would you mind if I reblogged it?

    • Sure. Thank you in advance, for the reblog. 🙂

      “Black women have to be able to shut this mechanism off in our minds that makes us believe anything anyone says. We simply won’t be able to survive if we don’t. That is why I advocate black women completely ridding themselves of mainstream meadia because the garbage that filters through is poisonous enough to ruin our lives.”

      Yes! This is especially important for younger BW and girls, because (from what I’ve seen and been told) most are discouraged from engaging in critical thinking. It would interfere with BC indoctrination. You can’t create sista soldier mules without indoctrination. I know a LOT of BW who were told growing up that using their brains was “acting White”. SMH.

      • Oh heaves yes. I forgot about that. Not only do black need to shut off media sources they also need to stem the flow of people in their lives who shame them into “acting black” SMH. I’d say that phrases like that are even more dangerous than the obviously desperate media.

        • It’s funny, but what Black Americans refer to as “acting Black” is really acting like White trash. Poor Black people adopted these behavior patterns from poor Whites from Europe, and the White American community has been determined to make it a “Black thing” (to hide their shame) ever since. There’s a book on the subject, but I can’t remember the title.

          Speaking of hiding one’s shame, I have something to show you that I think you’ll find interesting. I will post it on your blog, under the “Honey Boo and Olivia Pope” article.

  2. LorMarie says:

    All I can say is this is an excellent post!

  3. Robynne says:

    Good post. I wonder why some blogs that claim to be for bw insist on reporting anti-bw mess as if it is fact – without detailed and measured analysis you’ve offered here. If they insist on citing to this study without detailing the anti-bw poison, they are merely increasing the circulation of this poison, and increasing said poison’s google hits. The authors of the “study” fully well know this, and are banking on that pain pornish tendency of many bw to kick in, where bw, acting against their self-interest, will not only imbibe this poison, but pass it along. I don’t read anything from the anti-bw posse, including those that are purportedly for bw, so I did not come across this “study” until I visited your blog.

    • I’ve asked myself that question many times. I sometimes hope that blog hostesses on such sites just don’t know any better. That maybe they think they are helping somehow. My problem was not only with the fact that the information was put on a blog that is supposed to be pro-BW, but also with the complete acceptance of its validity by the author promoting it. I should mention that the author was not the blog hostess, and that Beyond Black & White has many contributors, as well as moderators, but someone needs to be held accountable for not allowing anti-BW propaganda to be promoted there. On that same post, there is some anti-BW propaganda being spouted by a well-known bi-racial “friend” of the blog hostess. It’s not my blog, she’s not my friend, and if the moderators let the comments through who am I to raise a fuss on their blog? BUT those are the very reasons I chose not to link to the “study” article. If someone wants to read it, they have the title and can use Google.

      You are right about BW passing along the poison. This is usually done by emailing links to other BW or sharing on FB and Twitter, that is why I advised against clicking links when you know or suspect that it is not BW positive. I have no idea why some BW are so eager to read, hear and spread degrading non-sense about us as a group. But I am glad that you are among those avoiding that poison.

  4. Tia says:

    Great Post! Thank you for writing it, and I plan to send it to all of my Black girlfriends. I feel blessed to have had opportunities to critically think, and it is important that other Black women develop these skills if they don`t have them. Not clicking on the links that serve to BW hate is excellent advice! Thank You :).

  5. Pingback: Stop Exposing Yourself to Anti-BW Propaganda! | The Moxie Sophic

  6. Moxie says:

    I had to reblog this because this post was so on point. Hell it should be required reading for little black girls everywhere. Sadly so many of our women are brainwashed into thinking they are worthless which dictates their decisions including acceptance of piss poor treatment from others.

    • “Sadly so many of our women are brainwashed into thinking they are worthless which dictates their decisions including acceptance of piss poor treatment from others.”

      Yes, unfortunately. And part of the problem is that (from an early age) many BW are persuaded, goaded and even coerced into behaviors that guarantee that if they did not have self-esteem issues before they will have them after.
      Thank you, for reblogging my post. 🙂

  7. The Phoenix says:

    “It’s not my blog, she’s not my friend, and if the moderators let the comments through who am I to raise a fuss on their blog?”

    Who are you to raise a fuss? A Black woman who is concerned about the future of our young Black girls who wants them to grow up to know that they are NOT worthless, ugly garbage to be used, abused & thrown away. A Black woman who wants other Black women to understand that they deserve to live good lives with good men who will love and cherish them. That is MORE than enough for you to kick up a fuss about anti-Black woman/girl garbage being presented on a suppused “pro” Black women/girl blog. I have frequented that blog for years and have seen MANY questionable comments on their made about Black women by posters in good standing (one in particular, whose contempt for Black women & girls is so obvious I do not know how it can be ignored) and they have really made me scratch my head. Our young Black girls need us now more than ever and their feelings are TOO important to be toyed with by certain people who have agendas other than the empowerment/uplift of Black women & girls.

    • You know what? You’re right. Looking back, I wish I had said something directly about those comments. Especially since the same person (in her first comment) made crazy claims to the moderators about someone else having said derogatory / racist things about BW – including using a slur, and that NEVER happened. She was the only one who said anything negative about BW. I know this because I was among the very first commenters on this particular post, and even now Livefyre sends me an email listing all new comments from any post I have ever commented on whenever there’s a new comment.

      I should mention that the commenter is someone famous, or infamous – depending on how you look at her actions over the years. And frankly, I did not want to end up in some crazy feud with a famous person who seems not quite sane, nor with the blog owner who would likely side with her. The blog owner wrote a book last year, and I know her famous friend has done a lot to promote it. But I did make it clear in my comments why the “study” was completely bogus, regardless of how much melanin its BW author possesses, and made it very clear that I did not agree with this celebrity’s beliefs. But there was no direct confrontation.

  8. Genea says:

    Thank you so much for this article! Sadly as young as middle school started a “hard core search” to find out why black men didn’t like black women. What a waste of time lol. I would always read articles like this and worry so much. I just want to be happy. I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE and taking the advice on avoiding mainstream media. It is my life and my right to do so! Thank you again.

    • Good! It’s hard to be happy while sipping poison. That is why avoiding the media is the best way to go, especially if it affects how you see yourself, and therefore how you behave and relate to others.

      I’m glad you’ve stopped worrying about who BM do or don’t like as well. It really is a complete and total waste of one’s time. Once American BW accept that there are loads of men on this planet who see that BW are beautiful, smart, resourceful, witty, passionate and compassionate, and actually appreciate those qualities in us, instead envying and resenting us, happiness is much easier to come by. And you deserve to be happy, Genea!
      Thank you for stopping by. 🙂

  9. Great post! I’m doing research on racio-misogyny this month and some points you made really struck home for me. Whether black women are ready to admit it or not: there is a mainstream agenda that is intent on souring our image. We strike back by ignoring these “statistics”, educating others by leading as an example, building foundation on BWE principles, and growing our networks to include both black and non-black allies with power who vouch on our behalf.

  10. foxyjossy says:

    i totally blame Michelle Obama for this. it’s like right after he got elected, i noticed all this anti black woman hatred in the media.

    • “i totally blame Michelle Obama for this. it’s like right after he got elected, i noticed all this anti black woman hatred in the media.”
      ~@foxyjossy jtjtjt110@gmail.com 166.123.216.45

      So, if the First Lady had just had the discretion to not be born Black, or had chosen to marry a man with no hope of ever getting elected to the highest office in the land, the racio-misogyny leveled against American Black women (for many decades now) would have … what? … vanished into thin air? Is that what you’re claiming? Because if you are you’re an idiot! I know you’re a troll!

    • Not gonna happen, “babe”. Next time, don’t be a “dim jackass” and use government property to post your anti-FLOTUS non-sense!

      In addition: doproxy.services.treasury.gov

      Does your immediate supervisor or the new Treasury Secretary, Jack Lew, know what you really do when you’re suppose to be working? 😳
      BTW, if you had asked me nicely, I would have done as you asked. Good manners are welcome everywhere, and you troll at your own risk. Something that you would be wise to remember in the future. 🙂

  11. Faith Dow says:

    Take your own advice. You cite an anti-BW propaganda blog to make your argument about not doing the very thing you’re urging others to oppose. You yourself stated numerous examples of foul behavior, but you remain eating the vomit. Why? Imagine someone claiming to love you, but slipping you low doses of poison to stun and confuse you while killing you slowly. Or do you miss the big picture to discuss symptoms while skipping the actual disease? That’s not change, it’s just empty venting. BW who want true support should stay away from the source of toxic environments as well as the fruit from the poisonous tree.

    • “Take your own advice. You cite an anti-BW propaganda blog to make your argument about not doing the very thing you’re urging others to oppose.”

      Which anti-BW propaganda blog are you referring to?

      “You yourself stated numerous examples of foul behavior, but you remain eating the vomit. Why? Imagine someone claiming to love you, but slipping you low doses of poison to stun and confuse you while killing you slowly. Or do you miss the big picture to discuss symptoms while skipping the actual disease? That’s not change, it’s just empty venting. BW who want true support should stay away from the source of toxic environments as well as the fruit from the poisonous tree.”

      Are you saying that nothing should be said about the propaganda directed at BW? Or that you find my approach objectionable?

  12. Reblogged this on OCG.

  13. Kendra Blake says:

    Congratulations! Trolls and haters are a sure sign that a blogger is doing something right. You’ve done a terrific job of breaking down the game being played on Black women, Sis.
    Keep up the good work!

  14. bornin1881 says:

    Exactly my point. I stated the same thing in response to a YouTube video last night. It breaks every inch of my heart to know that there are black people who refuse to date their own race. They are blindly contributing to the misinformation of the masses. Sad. I’m 22 and I’m only interested in finding love with a black king so that we can have little black princes and princesses. If people wouldn’t rush to find love at a young age ,and at a time where men of EVERY race are just interested in hanging out moreso than settling down, then there wouldn’t be so many people who believed the hype. Patience is key black people.

  15. bornin1881 says:

    I have to clarify something though. Is this blog pro black women only? I was offput by some comments at the end of the blog that seemed anti black men. I feel as though BM and BW are under attack by mainstream society which means that we should come together NOT dilute our race further.

    • “It breaks every inch of my heart to know that there are black people who refuse to date their own race.”

      It is never wise to allow the personal choices of others to affect how you feel, especially about yourself. Since you can only ever control yourself, you will only guarantee that you are always unhappy. Besides, if the people you mention really do feel that way it’s no great loss to those they don’t wish to date. And frankly, it’s no more ignorant than rejecting someone because they don’t share one’s ethnicity. There is only one race: Human.

      “If people wouldn’t rush to find love at a young age ,and at a time where men of EVERY race are just interested in hanging out moreso than settling down, then there wouldn’t be so many people who believed the hype. Patience is key black people.”

      No offense intended, but this is bad advice, and I would never give it to any woman. Whether we like it or not, every woman’s “stock” is highest in her youth. The older she gets the less likely she is to attract a man that she would actually WANT to marry. BUT there are many young men who want to be married and have a family while they are young and can enjoy playing with and coaching their children. My husband is such a man. I know a LOT of young men who are married. I have male cousins my age and younger who are married. Men from solid, happy families believe in marriage and family. Those are the men you want. And it’s easier to attract such a man when you are still young and firm. Even older men prefer younger, more fertile, women. And since men remain fertile longer than women, waiting is only advantageous to men.

      “I was offput by some comments at the end of the blog that seemed anti black men.”

      I have no idea what anti-Black men comments you are referring to. But I wish, for the sake of women like you who only want a BM, that there were BM who shared your concerns and worried that people might be making anti-BW comments on blogs, because I have never seen that. Not once.

      “I feel as though BM and BW are under attack by mainstream society which means that we should come together NOT dilute our race further.”

      I should tell you upfront that this is in no way a “Black love” blog. This blog is written specifically for the benefit of American Black women, no one else. And I do not, and will never, discourage Black women from choosing to date and marry ANY MAN who possesses good character, shares her values, compatible life goals, and treats her with love and respect. It’s something that needs to be encouraged among Black women, but usually is not. If that man happens to be Black, that’s great, but if he’s not Black that’s great too. My husband is White and he has made me not just a happy woman, but a content one. I want that contentment for other Black women as well, whomever they may find it with. And if someone chooses to believe that concept is anti-BM or will “dilute our race further”… Oh, well. *shrugs*

      • bornin1881 says:

        This is from my phone so I can’t reply as I’d like at this moment. It seems you’ve misunderstood my comments, but thank you for answering my question about the aim of this blog. I in NO WAY encourage BW to only date black men. I also encourage my friends and family to be with some one who loves and respects them, and for those who are my age and stressing about finding someone when they aren’t even fit to be a wife I encourage these women to get themselves together first. I don’t think meeting a husband whilst in grad-school is too late. This is just my opinion.

        • I’m glad you clarified your previous statements. And I agree that women in graduate school should be more focused on getting their degree than in finding a husband, however, I know women who have done both. Personally, I don’t think I could. Falling in love was way too distracting for me. But, like I said before, it’s an age issue for women. Grad school or no, if a woman wants to have biological children, she cannot afford to wait too long to start dating with marriage in mind.

  16. keisha says:

    If the web site your speaking of is Beyond Black White. I have read many articles from that site. About 90% of the articles seem to support black women living the good life with quality men of any race, and away from the now damaged ‘Black Community’ mindset. But sometimes the author herself, and some of her contributors write articles that display the opposite of what they say they’re trying to do for black women. The author herself sometimes continually tries to engage black men about the state of the black community. With the black men feigning concern, only to denigrate her and her family and other black women.

    When I personally told her that its unwise to try to engage people – mysoginist black men or black women – who care nothing about, and hate their own people. And also allowing and engaging in conversation with loser black men who like to pick fights with black women online. Examples of bad past articles – Black women pretending their another race online to snag other races of men. Black women still muling for black men who are victims of racial violence like trayvon martin or Oscar grant. But say nothing of the black on black violence from their own people. Or the black men who have been abusing, gaming, and killing other black women for decades.

    And how black girls and women never make the news when they’re killed by other black men – only black men do. And when I tried to mention that its not empowering for black women to mule for other black men who don’t support or protect their own women, I was banned from commenting on the article. And I decided that some web sites for black women will not always be 100% good for them. And that I will only read the sites that have a good track record, in terms of advising black women with good advice. Black women with their own sites – Start a list that lists the names of other black womens’ sites that are putting out bad advice online!

    • “When I personally told her that its unwise to try to engage people – mysoginist black men or black women – who care nothing about, and hate their own people.”

      I absolutely agree with this. There is no reason to engage in a continuous dialogue with hateful, negative people who only want to tear you down. Sometimes, I will post a troll comment to demonstrate a point, but I refuse to pretend I see any value in anything that such people have to say. Once they show their true colors, they are always banned… FOREVER.

      I’m surprised they banned you for speaking out about the trollish behavior. They should have banned the trolls. From what you describe, that’s all those people were. I’ve seen some pretty heinous anti-BW comments on that blog, and they banned you? SMH. That is messed up.

      “And I decided that some web sites for black women will not always be 100% good for them. And that I will only read the sites that have a good track record, in terms of advising black women with good advice. Black women with their own sites – Start a list that lists the names of other black womens’ sites that are putting out bad advice online!”

      I agree, and if you put such a list together, feel free to share the link here. I’d like to have a look at it. I haven’t had a lot of spare time to just surf the net checking out new blogs since I was promoted at work, so I’m kinda out of the loop these days. It’s always nice when readers share links with me here.
      Thank you for commenting. 🙂

  17. keisha says:

    Agree 100%! Thanks for the support! And congrats on the promotion! I was banned by one of the site’s moderators. BB&W has also banned trolls and let them come back, only to ban them again! I think we just have to accept that some black women will be left behind mentally and physically. And even when some black women are trying to help each other. Some of them still have damaged mindsets. With that site, I decided to go back to lurking and making a comment periodically. And read more sites like yours that don’t wrongly advise black women. I haven’t made up a list yet – BB&W seems to be the only so far that needs to be watched in terms of sometimes letting trolls comment, and banning the black women who attempt to speak up about some of the articles that could be wrongly advising black women.

    • Thank you!
      I was thinking of Clutch when I read your comment about the list, but then I realized that they make no pretense about being for the betterment of Black women. They delete comments from BW defending BW, and let the anti-BW trolls run wild and free. I don’t think that’s a secret, at this point.

      • mswanda says:

        I was on a site that let a bm insult bw calling the ones that wear weave not worthy to live and said we were diseased, rachet, baby mamas and what was wrong with the whole bc. And the blog host a bf agreed with him. When other bf asked he why she cosign with this she would not respond. Bf called him out on it and she closed the thread down. Saying it was causing division. So it’s only division when bw are defending themselves, She didn’t say anything about division when this bully continued to spew his venom on bw only when we called him and her out on it. So bfc, it’s really hair weave that is destroying the bc, Not Tyrone and Ray Ray.

        • That blog hostess should be ashamed. What the hell does hair have to do with anything? BM are so superficial and trifling it’s not even funny. No other group of men cares more about what’s on a woman’s head than what’s inside it. One moment BM are complaining about weaves, the next time it’s wigs, natural hair and relaxers. It’s always something, because such men have to make BW scapegoats for THEIR issues. I’m pretty sure hair extensions aren’t preventing any decent men from taking care of, and responsibility for, their offspring. So, why do BM always have so many idiotic excuse? Shameful! SMH.

          A woman came on my bog last week claiming that BM didn’t take care of their kids because the single mothers they abandoned wouldn’t let them. I could hardly believe it. It’s crazy! It’s on this post. You will find my response there as well. She also claimed that single BW were creating a homewrecking epidemic. LOL. Sometimes, I wonder at people’s sanity.

          • mswanda says:

            We found out who he really is. The females exposed him and his bf hate site and he has been banned. Oh, and I read the post you put up. Wow! I reconised me child’s father in all of this. He sexually sabataged me. I got pregnant because he removed the condom, I was making really good money and he wanted to live off me. But I’m from a rural town in MS and all the black men took care of their families. So I knew taking care of a man was out of the question. He got mad and sabataged me by taking parts off my car, I lost my job but tried to go into business for myself and he messed that up. By the time it was over me and my baby was homeless. Just like that! I hope the female can learn from what you are saying about these type of men. You can’t save them and they will take you down fast. I went from Clearing over 1000 to 1500 a week to being homeless and on welfare within a year and a half. BFC you better preach! The fatherless male will destroy you.

          • Unfortunately, what happened to you does not surprise me at all. I volunteer at a local homeless shelter, and every BW who’s come through those doors has ended up there because of her involvement with a BM. Coincidence? I think not. This type of DBR behavior has become so typical that popular TV shows have made episodes about it – Law & Order: SVU, for example. The episode stars John Stamos as the condom sabotager, with more than a dozen children.

            The fact that your ex would want to hurt his child as well as you proves that he’s a sociopath as well as a psychopath, completely incapable of empathy. If he couldn’t leech off of you, he wanted to destroy your life and that of his own child. SMH. That is just plain EVIL!

            And yet you have all these lying Black folks (men and women) trying to pretend that the reason there is such a high OOW birthrate for BW is because BW are trying to “trap” BM. They have it backwards. If there is one thing the average BW should know with absolute certainty, it’s that getting pregnant OOW by a BM will lead to a quick exit by the father and single motherhood for her… If she doesn’t have anything material to offer him, that is. And if she does, he probably sabotaged her birth control in the first place, so that he could use the child as an excuse to leech off of her for the rest of his life.

          • mswanda says:

            When I finally got an apt after 6 months of bouncing around his sister came around and told me he wanted to see me.I told her if he comes to my home I will kill him. Not playing. When I asked him for some money to buy some pull ups for my baby he cussed me out. But I heard every weekend he was throwing bbq’s and buying beer and all the food but could not give me twenty dollars. My own family showed up. I would not let him visit my child or contact me I had people telling me I was wrong for denying my childs father access to her but they never questioned him about not taking care of his child. See a lot of bm use a baby as a foothold into your bed. See he thought he would get me pregnant again. Sometimes you just have to cut your losses and move on and raise your child to the best of your ability. Working on getting a husband and a father for my child.

          • Considering his past treatment of you and his willful neglect of his child, he has not earned the necessary trust to spend time with a helpless child. You’d be a fool to let him visit with her when he hasn’t shown any real interest in protecting her well-being.

            The reason so many people think it’s wrong to keep a child away from a bad parent, no matter what they have done, is because they believe that a toxic parent is better than none. It’s not true, but most people believe it anyway.

  18. I enjoyed your article. You have some good points. Avoiding negativity and finding love no matter the color is healthy and makes sense. But, some or your statements are extreme. Not all statistics or studies by social “scientists” on Black women and why they marry or do not marry are by nefarious people with bad intentions. Oprah Winfrey did a show on Black women not being able to find marriagable men and while statistics may have been sliced and diced later on to show BW marriage differently, I don’t think Orah was or is “out to get BW.”

    • I do not recall ever mentioning Oprah as an example of “people out to get BW”. In fact, I did not reference her nor her show in my post at all. I suspect you only scanned what I wrote and latched on to the part you didn’t like: the falsified marriage stats. Don’t get me wrong, if you want to continue reading or even writing anti-BW propaganda, it’s a free country (mostly), but my opinion remains unchanged.

      For those Black women who choose to continue imbibing the poisons offered to us, and then wonder why they feel so bad about themselves and have such difficulty attracting marriageable men (men who are capable of feeling love), I’ll give you three guesses what’s behind it.

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