A toddler has been left with a broken collar bone after he and his mother were attacked in broad daylight because the little boy appeared to be mixed race.
The two-year-old was tipped out of his pushchair and injured when a black man started hurling racist abuse and then went for his 30-year-old mother at Highams Park railway station in east London.
Police fear the suspect was attacking the unnamed woman, who is also black, because the child had lighter coloured skin and may have been mixed race.
As the mother tried to get off the train the apparent racist grabbed her by the hair, dragging her to the ground and knocking over the pushchair, badly hurting the toddler. …
Continue reading at the Daily Mail Online
When I saw the photo of the attacker, I knew that the “mixed race” child had a Black mother. I just knew it! I’ve seen too many BM talk crazy when they see a BW with a mixed race child to doubt it. In the HuffPost piece (which I read first) they omitted the mother’s ethnicity, which made me suspicious. Who do they think they’re kidding?!
This story makes me so angry! And it’s not just that this creature felt entitled to attack a woman — a perfect stranger — for having a child who didn’t share his skin tone, like she was his unfaithful wife or something, but that Black men like him will often behave like perfect gentlemen when they see a non-BW with a half-Black child, oohing and aahing and saying “how precious”, yet go psycho when they see a BW with a child that’s mixed with the same ethnicities!!
I pray that the baby and his mom recover quickly, and that the police find the evil, entitled bastard who attacked them soon! People like him are why I learned to use a gun.
~BlackFemalCulture
Black Female Culture 
I live in London and I a married to a white Englishman and when my husband told me about it I was disgusted. It has made me a bit fearful about what will happen when we do have children and I am out alone with them. The funny thing is….I see plenty of black men with mixed race children, yet another black man would not dare to comment on it or assault him. Yet when a black woman is out with her children she is assaulted. And for all this man knows the child could have just been very fair skinned. His father could be a lighter skinned black man. The ignorance in this world astounds me sometimes. This story really bothers me because the harassment that I sometimes receive from black men in real life and online(Instagram where I post pics for my family who are in the US) because I am in an interracial relationship makes me sometimes feel like we haven’t moved forward at all. Black women take so much from the world in general. Then we have black men harassing us for who we are with or daring to have a mixed race child.
I never would have thought that I would be a bit fearful to even take my future children out, but now I guess I will have to keep this in the back of my mind when I do have little ones and we are out. The level of disrespect that this man had for this woman is unbelievable. This only confirms that black women need to be wary of black men when you are in an interracial relationship and with your mixed race children. This has left me with an acute sense of fear now…perhaps I should not feel this way. But a child seeing his mother attacked and him being hurt is unacceptable and no child should have to see this. Perhaps others can give me some advice on how to deal with the unease and fear I am now feeling. My husband and I are planning on having a child in the near future and I can’t imagine being attacked like this poor woman.
What is also amazing is that they still have not found him. I perhaps am beginning to think that people have closed ranks around him to protect him, which makes this even worse. Because that would mean that people would see owning wrong with him attacking a black woman for daring to be with a white man and have a mixed race child.
I was wondering aloud earlier today why they have not found this man. It happened on Sunday, it’s Thursday and there’s no word of his capture. Hopefully, now that they have a publicized the crime and his image someone will recognize him. It’s not a great picture though. Fortunately, people who lack self-control can usually be counted on to tell on themselves. Fools like that have confessed their crimes on MySpace. That is how the killers of BW/WM IR couple were found a few years back.
I’m not sure what to tell you in regards to your fear of your family being attacked by racist BM, as I have the same fears. I am also married to a WM and we are talking about getting pregnant in two years, maybe less, and hearing about psychotic mess like this is scary. I think all we can really do is be observant and extra cautious when in the presence of BM and others who seem threatening, like Karen said. And, of course, learn how to protect ourselves and our loved ones by taking courses in using mace / pepper spray and firearms. Now that there is a concealed carry law in our state, my husband and I have been discussing getting all the necessary permits for me to carry a gun. He’s not worried about himself, but he is worried someone might try to catch me alone to harm me for being married to him.
Knowledge of how to protect yourself can do a lot to ease your fears. Fear is normal: it’s a protective device in and of itself. Self defense classes, weapons training, and carrying protective devices that YOU are comfortable with (pepper spray, stun guns, tasers, pistols, knives, etc) can do a lot for empowering you and helping with your uneasiness. A great side effect of taking self-defense classes is that you learn great ways to AVOID being a target. One thing is certain: no one should have to live in fear because of the crazies. Prepare yourself,:) Take care!
At this point I feel very confident in using a gun, I’m an excellent shot, but I have mixed feelings about carrying one. It has occurred to me that I could be disarmed and shot with my own weapon. So, even though I want to feel safer when alone, I’m not sure if it’s better to carry a gun than to carry mace or pepper spray, which I keep on a key chain. But I’m open to every option. I may get the carry license and never even feel I need to use it, at least not until my first child is born.
I carry pepper spray at all times, and I have a stun gun that I need to start carrying. As the mother of a biracial child, I have a fear that crazy DBRs (of all shades) may try to attack me or my child with or without my husband present. It’s not a paralyzing fear, but definitely a concern that I have. I’ve seen how people are selectively crazy, and they find some “sanity” when around some groups, but act like pure fools when around others. What I don’t want is to be defenseless around those people when they decide to show their backsides. That’s why I take measures to protect myself.
Since you already have a child this story must have really struck you and your family. And yes, I hate the way certain people are only “crazy” when they think they can get away with it. Even their voices change. SMH
I’ve never considered a stun gun an option because I’ve heard that the course involves being stunned with a stun gun and I have a congenital heart condition. Did you have to get stunned when you were trained? if you were trained. Is it possible to accidentally stun oneself?
Yes, this story definitely struck a chord with us. It’s the kind of the “worst case scenario”, but in these days and times, people are super-crazy. You can’t be too cautious.
The one I have is one that the hubby ordered for me online, so it’s not like the kind carried by law enforcement officers. I didn’t have to take any training to own it: in VA, you can carry stun guns, tasers, or pepper spray so long as you don’t carry them onto school property and if you’re not a convicted felon. They sell them anywhere, no license or special training needed. Tasers are more expensive but do a much better job in leaving attackers dazed and confused for several minutes after the incident. Stun guns only stop them long enough for you to get out of their grasp and (hopefully) make a run for it.
The only thing is that pepper spray, guns etc are all illegal to carry here in th UK. I’ve taken self defence classes in the past, but as far as carrying a weapon it is illegal to do so here. I wouldn’t feel comfortable carrying a gun anyway. I certainly wish people just wouldn’t harass people for having mixed race children….but obviously that isn’t the case.
Not even pepper spray? That’s too bad. But I’m sure with no guns, you have far less crime there.
Yes we do have less crime. Very rarely do we have anyone getting shot. It does happen rarely but it is an illegal gun used by a criminal. It is relatively safe, but there is still crime, but overall I do believe that it is a safe place to live. It is definitely safer than most cities in th US I have lived in. They do not tolerate violence or anything remotely “anti social” here and the police are cracking down on knives as well. It is a smaller country as well, therefore we will not have as many issues as in America, but I definitely feel that we are very anti violence over here. It just isn’t tolerated and especially against children.
Note: ****** It is illegal to racially abuse anyone here in the UK. Basically calling a person a racial slur can and will test you arrested. Attacking someone using racial slurs Is illegal. Freedom of speech over here does not include the right to racially abuse and use racial slurs. So not only did this man committ an anti social, anti human attack…he also broke the law by racially abusing this woman. Assaulting her…obviously a crime, and causing bodily harm to a child. So believe…when they catch him he will definitely be going to jail for a good time. We are not afraid to make examples of racists so that people know not to do this. People can and have gone to jail for racial abuse and it is something that people think is a good thing. Racists need to die off…until they do they will be shunned, incarcerated and made all out pariahs here in the UK. We don’t have time for this nonsense.
I agree! And I wish we had such laws here, but I’m sure you remember how much American bigots like hiding behind “freedom of speech”.
Speaking from experience, I would highly recommend that all BW who are with non-BM partners always be mindful of their surroundings and when in the presence of BMs be on high alert.
I am lucky to live in a part of the world where for the most part I do not encounter other BMs but when I do, I am on alert and that also applies to any other man that puts my antenna on alert. With children it is even more imperative to do so. Fear is a healthy mechanism to keep our senses sharp, so my advice is to use it appropriately to ensure your safety and those of your loved ones.
I agree with you. Fear can definitely keep you sharp, focused and alive. And if you rarely encounter BM where you live you are very fortunate indeed. You don’t have to be as cautious as those of us who live in parts of the world where there are a lot of BM who believe that they somehow own BW, whether they know us or not. In the US, BW have to be cautious of BM even if they are not in IRR. Many BW have been murdered in the US by BM they did not know because they refused to give them their phone number or even just ignored them. So, ALL BW need to be on guard and learn to protect ourselves.
I used to live in the U.S. so I know first-hand what you mean. I had several “close encounters” of the worst kind with BMs that would not dare even raise their voice to a BM/WW couple or WM but have no problem taking out their agression on BW. It was one the key reasons for me to leave the U.S., I was “sick and tired of being sick and tired” of the regular harassment.
All too many BMs are “Enemy #1” to BW and we need to really internalize this unfortunate reality and take proper care.
To all the ladies, be safe, be aware and do not take any chances.
There have been so many times over the years when I have wished I could just pack up and move to another country, and now it’s even more complicated because I’m married and we both have jobs/careers in the US.
I really envy you living abroad.
There are trade-offs to living abroad (no place is perfect) and one should always do the research first before making such a big decision to leave one’s homeland. I had to make some big adjustments but it was the right decision for me.
Thank you, for the advice, Karen! 🙂
Even my own brother is being put on the list of not being trusted. I knew something was off about my brother,I knew he was damaged beyond repair I just did not have the acronym for it. EVERY BLACK WOMAN, PLEASE BE ON YOUR P’s & Q’s WHEN SURROUNDED BY BLACK MEN.
Summer is here and when I hear JAZZ CONCERT=LARGE GROUPS OF BLACK MALES.
Khadija has an excellent post on this because the LEADING CAUSE OF BLACK WOMEN ARE BLACK MEN.
Khadijah is correct. My parents would never let me and my brother go to concerts when we were growing up, if they knew that a lot of Black folks would be attending. Some of our relatives criticized them for being overly protective, and even racist because they use to say that some Black folks just didn’t know how to act when they got together in large numbers and they weren’t taking any chances with their kids. I was upset the first time they said no to a gathering like that, pissed off really, but now I’m grateful for my parents protection. Nothing violent has ever happened to me or my brother, so they did their jobs very well.
BTW, on five separate occasions that I can recall, those events wound up on the news because of violence. They don’t even have gatherings like that in our town anymore because of it. At least not ones promoted with a predominately Black audience in mind. It’s sad.
What are some good places in the U.S. and outside the U.S. for interracial couples involving black women? Maybe a TOP 20 PLACES list for black women in interracial relationships should be compiled.
I would love to see a list like that too. in fact, I may do some research on this topic and compile my own list. Funny thing is, me and my husband have both traveled outside the US, but never together. Not yet anyway. 🙂
I have traveled to two foreign countries – Morocco and Singapore – with an ex and no one said boo to us in either. I was shocked that this happened in the UK. There are a LOT of IR couples there.
Yes. While there are lots of interracial couples here. It is still quite insular. And it is not as many as you would think. It is still not looked kindly in for black women to be with white men. Black men here tend to not like it. Of course they do it…but you know only black men can do what they want. Black women have to take scraps and be alone and single or with a black man or else. I’ve definitely had some negative experiences with my better half who is white and English. Nothing to the level of what we would experience in the US, but one incident is one too many in my book. I will also get issues from black male identified women as well. I am neither African..as in from Africa, not of Caribbean descent…as most black people here in the UK are. I am an American expat of mixed race descent myself. So I don’t necessarily fit with the black community here. They are still very closely tied to Africa and Jamaica.
I get the most flack from other BW. I wasn’t entirely certain why, until I read a post on LorMarie’s Place http://lormariesplace.com/spot-on-commentary-on-a-racist-murder-the-angry-black-man/7/
It’s a post written by a bi-racial man with a Black mother and White father. Very enlightening, as to why some Black people act so cray-cray when they see a BW with a WM. Apparently, it goes beyond mere jealousy for both genders.
I hope LorMarie agrees to my reblogging it. I think the author really is “spot on” in his assessment.
Long-time lurker leaving a comment…I’m saddened and sickened, but not surprised by, this story. Sounds like some BM in the UK have some major issues regarding IRRs, much like BM here in the States do.
I’m reminded of when I lived in Seattle, Washington – I was walking with three co-workers to have a drink after work. Myself (BW), one WW, and two WM. I was conversing with one of the men as all four of us came to a corner. As we waited to cross, a BM standing nearby looked at our little group, did a double-take, then said loudly: “What’s a sister like you doing with that WHITE BOY?” Never mind the fact that there was another BM walking up the street from another direction, arm-in-arm with a WW. Me merely talking to a WM was seen as unthinkable, while a BM / WW arm-in-arm didn’t even come up as a blip on anyone’s radar. That happened back in 1996!
I keep thinking that we’re well into the 21st century, yet some want to act as if it’s 1956…or 1916…or 1876…*SMDH*
Great blog, BTW. Keep up the good works! 😎
*goes back into lurk mode*
Thank you, Sepultura! I appreciate your support. 🙂
What happened to you in Seattle, I witnessed for the first time on a city bus when I was a kid. A BW was talking to a WM that she obviously worked with, based on their conversation, and every BM on that bus plus a couple of WW stared daggers at them. The chatting co-workers ignored them or didn’t notice, but I remember thinking how bizarre it was that so many people could be so angry about a conversation that wasn’t dissing them in anyway. Ah, the innocence of childhood. LOL. And the sad fact is nothing has changed. If anything, I think the behavior has gotten worse among BM and non-BW. It’s bolder and more in your face, especially towards those of us who are in IRRs and not just conversing with a non-BM. I’m speaking of the US, of course.
And it’s interesting to note that many BW of Caribbean descent living in the US claim that dating IR is no big deal and everyone in their culture accepts it, yet the Blacks in the UK are mostly from the Caribbean. I would bet a year’s salary that the Rastafarian-looking psycho who attacked the mother and child is from the Caribbean.
This incident is sick, but is typical of DBRBM who see BW as property, with no regard for her welfare or that of her children, even when these same BM were involved in the production of said children. As to the latter part of your comment, at least in the island where I am originally from, BW in IRR’s don’t generally get harassed. I’ve been back to my birth country a number of times with my white husband, and the typical harassment, verbal or non verbal, that you may experience in the States, didn’t occur. And, you are right about the fact that most black people in the UK are indeed of Caribbean descent. It is interesting to see how these dynamics play out in a majority non black society. I guess these BM feel more powerless, and we all know how productive and protective powerless BM are, lol. They start taking out their frustrations on the only group they feel they have any power over (BW), and then they use the one sided doctrine of “race loyalty” to avoid sanctions for their foul behaviour. We know the nonsense they use to guilt BW into not seeking better relationships, and to not call law enforcement when assaulted or harmed in some way by a BM, so I won’t rehash that here.
You are truly fortunate that you don’t have to put up with such nonsense in your homeland, but they change once they get to the UK? That is very interesting to note. I’ve wondered if British BM are in anyway influenced by American BM in their attitudes toward BW. A Canadian BW, on another blog, has said that the anti-BW attitude of American BM is catching on among Canadian BM, who are also mostly of Caribbean descent.
It’s so strange to me that the only men on the planet who use being a minority as an excuse to treat the women of their own ethnicity like sh*t are of African descent. SMH.
Yes, they are highly influenced by black American culture! To the point where it is beginning to take on a troubling mirror image of the dysfunction of black American communities. The influence of rap music has them all using the n word now. They are starting to tout light skinned women…..not even going to touch on th skin bleaching epidemic amongst omen over here. This was not the case before. And baby mama’s are now a cool thing to have. Not saying out of wedlock children were non existent before. They were…but thanks to the influence of hip hop and black American culture, this is becoming a thing that young black men aspire to be like.
Example. I was on a girls night out and this young man approaches me. Mind you he was a black British man and he was trying to put on a New York accent. ” you know what I’m saying,yo.” Speaking like this to me. Needless to say I wasn’t impressed. I’m not single and even if I was I wouldn’t be bothered with some idiot who lives his life like a rap video. And this was in a by nice place, so it wasn’t like we were in a hood club in London. It was really sad and I had a good laugh about it with my friends and told Mr. London Calling about it when I got home. It shows that the influence that the black American community is huge and the dysfunction in the US is starting to rear it’s ugly head over here. I’m dreading it.
You should dread it. It’s spreading far and wide, like the Black Death that nearly wiped out Europe so long ago, and it seems to be influencing people of other ethnic groups as well. BW who date IR need to make sure they’re not dealing with a K-Fed. LOL.
@BFC…I don’t live in the UK, but I briefly dated a guy who lived in England. He was Black British (left Jamaica at 18). After having very little luck with American BM, I was disappointed to find that my own culture (Jamaican) is catching onto this toxic attitude. This guy was the type who would lecture me about knowing my history, talk badly about my light skin, and tell me to straighten my hair because it was too nappy…but he had a white “baby mama”. And she was racist to boot!
Some of these BM think that if a WW sleeps with them, that means she isn’t racist. Not true at all. I came to find out that he was simply using me to make her jealous and it bothered her to see him with a woman who wasn’t white (I am half white, but that doesn’t matter to a racist). I saw text messages on his phone where she was calling me the most vile racial slurs. When I confronted him about it, he denied that she was prejudiced. Thankfully that was years ago and I’m now married to a wonderful man.
@LondonCalling…sorry to hear that the foolishness is taking over in the UK as well. I hate when guys approach me with that “gangsta” talk. I’ve only had a few white guys do that to me, but the rest of the time it’s been BM and some Latinos. Do they really believe that this is how you talk to a woman? All this “ayo, shawty” and “wuzzup mami” and all that crap makes me sick! I feel like telling them to pull up their damn pants and learn some respect when approaching women. I guess it does work on some women, but any BW who has decided to raise her standards will keep it moving when spoken to that way. I remember when I was in my early 20’s, a young white male (possibly in his teens) started shouting, “hey, ho!” at me. I was appalled that ANYONE would speak to a complete stranger that way and I put him in his place immediately. He continued to be disrespectful while his Black friend said nothing. But I guess it’s a reflection of how standards have lowered, abusive behavior goes unchecked, and the DBR mentality runs rampant. The young white kid was hanging out with a Black guy and they were both wearing the stereotypical fashions…sagging pants, caps cocked to the side, gold chains, etc.
In my experience, WW will sleep with pretty much anyone. They can be completely racist against that man’s group, but if they have a choice between being with someone they consider “a lower form of life” or being single they will “settle” until they can get someone better (White). I see it all the time. And these self-hating fools who get involved with such women pretty much get what they deserve, because when someone is racist it’s easy to see, if you want to see. I do pity their children. I know several Bi-racial women who had racist White mothers who made their childhoods nightmares: physical abuse, verbal abuse, made fun of their African features and “nappy” hair. Horrible, horrible mothers. In every case, the main reason the “mothers” were willing to give birth to “inferior” children was so they could maintain access to the father’s pocketbook after the relationship ended.
Anyone who addressed me in such a manner should be prepared to get pepper sprayed in the face! What you describe is why I would never encourage BW of any age to date any WM who hangs out with BM. My husband has no issue with BM in general, but he’s not trying to be buddy buddy with them either. He’s a WM who has always been attracted to BW, has mostly dated BW, and he learned a long time ago that MOST BM resent WM who are openly appreciative of BW.
@BFC…it’s funny you should say that. I was born in the US to a Jamaican mother and when other Black people ask me about my husband, they ask “what” he is. When I tell them he is a white American, they often have these strange looks on their faces. Some Caribbean folks definitely have hang-ups about race too. Sometimes I feel like saying: “I didn’t know we had to marry within our own group?”
@sepultura13…I agree wholeheartedly. I think that some DBR Black men view BW as their “property” (kind of like how racists in general disapprove of mixing), but they see nothing wrong with a fellow BM dating/marrying out. I read somewhere that it’s because some DBR’s view non-black women as a “trophy” but they don’t value BW as much.
However, let a WM show interest in a BW and they will be the first to complain about it.
Sepultura13 – I was walking with three co-workers. Myself – a black woman, one white woman, and two white men. A black man said loudly: “What’s a sister like you doing with that WHITE BOY?” Never mind the fact that there was another black man walking up the street from another direction. Arm-in-arm with a white woman. ME MERELY TALKING TO A WHITE MAN WAS SEEN AS UNTHINKABLE. While a black man/white woman arm-in-arm didn’t even come up as a blip on anyone’s radar. ——- ALL OF THIS.
Kia – Black women can’t even have a conversation with other races of men or people without being seen as a sellout or race traitor. While black men conversate with and date/marry whoever they want. Ridiculous. This is why black women need to drop black men as allies or potential relationships because most black men are mysogonists. You look at black news. And black people only riot in the streets when black men are attacked or killed by white people. But when black men or black women attack or kill each other in violent neighborhoods and elsewhere. Silence. Black politicians and black activists. Black celebs and rich blacks. The Black church. Has nothing to say about this. They could use their millions and resources to help their own people. Help stop the violence and ghetto drama in black communities that has gone on for decades – reality shows with black women fighting each other over loser black men etc. But they’re too busy living the good life. THEY are the sellouts – Influential or rich blacks who don’t help or advise their own people.
That is never going to happen, because Blacks with real influence and power understand that calling out the people who cause most of the problems in Black enclaves / Blackistan areas: Black men, would just turn other Black folks against them. Cause God forbid anyone should ever call a BM out! Look at what happens when the POTUS says BM need to take care of their own damn children. Jesse Jackson’s stupid *ss completely disrespected him, and was caught on tape doing it, and then some stupid male-identified BW said (on national TV) that racism made it impossible for BM to man-up and take care of the children they create, despite the fact that BM did it 100+ years ago and even 50 years ago when racism was much much much worse!
There’s a comment from such a BW on my blog claiming that single BW have made it impossible for BM to take care of their children. I kid you not. Any ole excuse will do, but please don’t hold a BM responsible for anything whatsoever! Until that attitude changes no celebrities are going to stick their necks out only to have their heads hacked off by ignorant Black folks who want to maintain a status quo that says BM are NEVER responsible for their actions nor their failure to act.
Look at the backlash Bill Cosby suffered when he said Black parents – mothers and fathers – needed to be more concerned with their children’s education and future than with how well they were dressed and styled. That was nothing more or less than common sense, yet many very vocal Black folks were enraged by it. These idiots are now claiming that Bill Cosby, who has done so much for young American Blacks – paying for their educations is just ONE example, HATES BLACK PEOPLE. Absolutely ridiculous!
I have been thinking about doing a post about my respect for Bill Cosby for some time…I SMDH when I hear people talk about how he is “airing Black folks’ dirty laundry!” My thought is WTF?!?!?!? REALLY?!? Sorry, but the only ones airing ANY dirty laundry are the asshats making fools of themselves by ‘cooning and buffooning / shucking and jiving’ on all of those freakin’ so-called ‘reality shows’ that are way too popular! When one claims that they are “keepin’ it real” by perpetuating a needless, negative stereotype, then they are beyond redemption IMHO.
In my experience, common sense has gone the way of the dodo and the passenger pigeon!
You know I agree with you. And when you write that post on Bill Cosby, feel free to share the link here. I definitely want to read it!
Thank you in advance…it will be written within the week! 😎
Robynne – I guess these black men feel more powerless, and we all know how productive and protective powerless black men are, lol. They start taking out their frustrations on the only group they feel they have any power over (black women), and then they use the one sided doctrine of “race loyalty” to avoid sanctions for their foul behaviour. We know the nonsense they use to guilt black women into not seeking better relationships, and to not call law enforcement when assaulted or harmed in some way by a black man, so I won’t rehash that here.
Black men love to blame black women for everything. If black men feel powerless, that’s their own fault. Black women or white men are not the cause of black men having no jobs, abandoning their kids, not getting an education, beating their girlfriends or wives, gang raping black women etc. That is black men’s fault alone. There’s a lot of black single mothers right now, abandoned by black men. But when black women choose to date or marry non black men. Black men get angry – even when they’re the ones that abandoned black women, and are not interested in dating or marrying them. And when black women are abused or killed by black men, there is no outrage in the black community from black politicians or black activists. But when black men – not black women – are killed by racist whites, suddenly they want black women’s support. Hypocrites. Black women need to start seeking relationships with other races of men who love and support them. Otherwise the abuse from black men will continue forever.
And don’t forget, they’re not just satisfied with raping BW with impunity, oh no, they are also gang raping little Black girls. Sick bastards! And their equally inhumane BW cheerleaders blame the children! 👿 SMDH.
And then the allegedly “good” BM want to whine online and in person about the all of the Black and non-Black women who are afraid to be in an elevator alone with them. Gee, I wonder why Einstein? It’s a real head scratcher.
EXACTLY. In psychology and psychiatry, that action is called the “I Hate You (but) Don’t Leave Me!” mindset. It is usually applied to those with so-called ‘Borderline Personality Disorder’ (BPD), but I feel that it has multiple applications and levels. For instance: the afflicted, mentally ill individual desperately seeks an excuse for their abhorrent behaviours (cheating, drinking, drugging, violence), because – after all – they’re PERFECT! If something goes wrong, it HAS to be someone else’s fault! Usually, the person(s) closest to them bear the brunt of the insanity: family, friends, or loved ones.
When the one blamed tries to break the cycle and escape the quagmire of psychosis, the insane one begins a technique called ‘Hoovering’ in a desperate attempt to suck the other back into their vortex. Abusers do this as well: for example, imagine a woman who gets beaten by her spouse or boyfriend. While she’s fragile and vulnerable, the abuser is crooning, “See what YOU MADE ME DO – I wouldn’t have done that if YOU HADN’T MADE ME SO MAD. Here are some flowers; let’s make up, it’s not that bad – but if YOU BEHAVE BETTER, this won’t happen again!” The DBR persons fit that mold to a tee. Ultimately, control freaks of any sort should be avoided!
Black Female Culture – It’s so strange to me that the only men on the planet who use being a minority as an excuse to treat the women of their own ethnicity like sh*t are of African descent.
Yes! Most black men blame black women for everything. Other races of men, even when some of them are mysoginst or sexually objectify women. Don’t generalize all women, and blame them for everything, or physically attack them. Or compare them to other races of women, and say that they’re more attractive than them or easier to get along with. Black women need to get a clue and just leave black men alone. In black communities, there are several generations of grandparents, parents, teen mothers, and kids who have no education or money, on welfare. And blame black women or white men for the way their life turned out. Black women need to stop this cycle and explore relationships and lives with other races of men who were taught to marry women and take care of their families. And who don’t treat women as atm’s, prostitutes, maids, and baby mamas.
I suspect it’s because other races of men don’t despise themselves, and so they do not feel a need to blame and despise the women who gave them life and who share their ethnicity. … Just a theory.
The old caveat is true: “If you want to know how a man will treat you, observe how he treats his mother.”
‘Nuff said!
I should also add: “Not only that…observe what he learned from his father!”
Unfortunately, what most young BM in my age group and younger have learned from their fathers is to not be there for their children, and then make it someone else’s fault. Like the mother, “the White man”, society at large. 🙄
@Erin…that is the TRUTH!
@BFC…that is a valid point, too. I understand some of the dysfunction on some level (due to internalized racism) and I respect the few BM who know what “real” manhood is about. However, what you and Erin both said is completely on point.
As you said, self-hate definitely seems to play a role. Some BM would never admit to this but I believe some of them want to be white and enjoy white privilege. On some level I can see why, but “da white man” is not knocking BW up left and right, then skipping out on his responsibilities.
I don’t think anyone can deny the struggles Black folks have been through, both men and women, but BW have always had to bear the burden of taking care of others while no one took care of us.
And for many angry, self-hating BM, they justify mistreating BW because they need to boost themselves up. I’ve seen this even with BM that grew up with both parents in the home. The father might be married to a BW but is still DBR on some level, and the ignorance is passed down to the son. I know a man in his late 60’s who is thrilled that his son had a baby with a Latina because she has “good hair”. Yet this same fellow (who is otherwise well-educated) disparages BW for having “nappy” hair and fawns over BW only if they try to look as white as possible. BM like that believe they’ve made it if they have money and they can “pull” a non-black woman.
This reminds me of a story I heard from another black woman who was dating a Polynesian man. It was just him and her in an all black neighborhood, going to eat at a black owned restaurant. All the black men they walked past whether gang related or not – said and did NOTHING to the interracial couple. The only thing they commented on was how big the guy was – he was built like The Rock or Hulk Hogan. Meaning if he was some scrawny white guy – no offense to small men. They would have been all over the couple. But because the guy was physically big and strong, and capable of defending himself and the woman he was with. Black men didn’t bother the couple. And there was a story of another interracial couple where a group of black men attacked a white man, putting him in the hospital. And he was smaller man than the Polynesian man.
Meaning these type of black men attack in groups – because there’s strength in numbers. And they only physically attack black women or smaller men who are physically weaker than them. And they will also wait to harass black women when they’re alone, when they know their boyfriend or spouse isn’t there to beat their ass. We already know that black men/white women couples are NEVER physically attacked or killed by black women. Concluding that these type of black men have selective racism. They only harass, attack, or kill people who are physically worker than them, or wait until the person’s alone to attack them. Which is why black women need to stay away from most black men. Black women need to discuss this with their partner. Learn self defense and use whatever they feel is necessary to protect themselves.
I think you’re right. BM never say anything to me and my husband (who’s quite tall and muscular) unless they are in a group of three or more, and even then they are generally less verbally aggressive than some of the male-identified BW we’ve come across. Though, obviously, I’d prefer that they all simply kept their stupid mouths shut since they don’t have anything positive to say.
And yes, such BM love to claim that only WM are capable of being racist, so that their choice to be with WW is then “justified” as both sticking it to the man (by taking care of his daughter. LOL) and exercising a freedom BM were once denied. Such men refuse to acknowledge that THEY are now the ones determined to keep BW slaves here in the 21st century, either through peer pressure and guilt or domestic terrorism.
You’ll also discover that such BM will get buddy buddy with WM and other non-BM, despite claiming to hate such men in private, for the sole purpose of denouncing BW. Yeah. They really are THAT desperate to destroy our image in hopes of keeping us from having other romantic options. SICK and twisted! 👿
Responding to Sepultura13 – Black women can’t even ask someone of another race for directions or have lunch with a platonic co worker without other blacks or other racist people getting angry. While those same people date and marry, and talk to whoever they want. And what if the non black male co worker she was lunching with was gay? Regardless – black women should be able to date/marry, talk to, and have friendships with whoever they want without racist blacks trying to police their lives.
Not trying to be funny but someone else mentioned. The child could have been light skinned and not biracial. Where one black parent had a dark skin tone and the other parent was a lighter shade of brown. But regardless – a man attacking a woman with a child is unforgivable. Black men always go crazy when they see black women with any non black men. But they never go crazy with other black men who do the same thing. Black women need to cut ties with the black community. Or they will always face these racist double standards.
@Nadjia…very true!
All I can say is, incidents like this and things I see in the everyday world has made me lose any and ALL respect towards black mean as a group. I can get along with a few individuals but that’s it. Outside of my family, I really don’t have many dealings with them and that’s a great thing.
I know exactly what you mean. I have only two BM friends outside of my family – one is gay and the other straight. The straight one loves BW, has only ever dated BW, married a BW and yet supports and encourages BW to date and marry non-BM because, in his own words, “Most BM today aren’t worth a damn!”
Exactly. I socialise with family, and my friends husbands…but these are men that are respectful, have morals and tret their wives with respect, take care of their children. So e have common beliefs. I’m not associating with any black men outside of this circle. No reason to. Unless I want to potentially be verbally abused, my husband attacked or even killed.
I agree, and it’s sad that this is what it’s come to. We shouldn’t have to be afraid of anyone, especially our own people.
Absolutely disgusting! To think that this man still hasn’t been caught. This is ten minutes away from my family’s house in Chingford. When I read the headline I presumed it was in America for some reason. You’re right I don’t believe the man would have targeted a white woman with a mixed race baby and certainly not a black man with a mixed raced child. What a coward! This has definitely made me think about my safety and that of my future children. We had some issues when we lived in America (Houston Texas) and yes it was from black men. We are currently in Australia and there have been no issues at all so far, thankfully.
I have NEVER, not once, seen or heard any BM get upset, or even just express disapproval, regarding a non-BW having a half Black child. There’s a bi-racial girl on YT who made a video about how Black people at her church have tried to convince her that her father MUST be Black and her mother White, because they just can’t accept the opposite being true. And keep in mind that these fools had seen this girl sitting between her parents (a BW and WM) during church services. SMH. It’s good to hear that Australians are not as ignorant as Americans. Though, to be honest, even in America most of the racism against BW/WM unions comes from other Black folks – men and women.
Wow! Those people in that lady’s church sound crazy. It’s disturbing. I read your story about being harassed in Wal-Mart by a BW, terrible! Really the best thing to do is to ignore them like you said and be vigilant about safety etc. SMH
@BFC…full disclosure, I am also of mixed race, with VERY light skin. When some people find out that my mother is Black and my father White, I can tell that it bothers them. It all comes down to ignorance.
They might not like seeing a BM and WW together, esp. if children are involved, but they can handle it more than the other way around. I’m not sure why this is, but I can guess…WW are usually not vilified the way BW are. The “status quo” tends to be that when a WM marries outside his race, he marries an Asian or Latina. When a WW marries outside her race, she usually has her pick, but the man is often Black. But to a lot of ignorant people, it’s almost unheard of (and unthinkable) that a WM would choose to date/marry/have children with a BW and “settle down” with her. To ignorant folks, that is considered to be a step down. It’s sad but some people do think this way.
No matter what people like to claim, it is more a money and power issue. The laws created to stop IR marriages were created with WM and BW in mind, not BM and WW. WM had all the power in this country back then, and they have most of the power now. If some WM could have married a BW they would have, and when they could they did! That is why the laws were created. It wasn’t a “just in case” type of thing, there were WM married to BW DURING SLAVERY. These laws made the marriages illegal, and denied the Black wife and the products of their union the ability to inherit what was rightfully theirs.
With all their talk of “slave rape” BM never mention the WM who married BW hundreds of years ago, when it was a serious no-no in this country, while many BM today refuse to marry BW, and even claim that we are “un-marriageable”. SMH.
If large numbers of successful WM marry BW the face of the wealthy and powerful changes. Many people (particularly Whites and “Wanna-be Whites”) fear that. Also many DBR BM resent the idea of BW being treated better by, and because of their relationships with, non-BM.
I wish I could say I’m surprised by the behavior of these so-called “Christians” but I’m not. At this point in my life (I’m 26), when a Black person I don’t know, regardless of gender, asks me what church I attend I always say None. This is not true. My husband and I attend a non-denominational church with an ethnically diverse congregation, but I know that the only reason these strangers are asking me about church is because they are hoping to manipulate my beliefs for the sake of using me. When Black folks assume that you’re an atheist they leave you alone!
I agree. And I hear stories of BW moving overseas to many different countries to meet a family oriented man. If a woman isn’t having luck meeting someone special where she lives she should try a new location.
This is the reason why BM who have nothing good to say about BW will say and do anything to persuade BW to stay put so that they can freely harass, humiliate and kill them without interference from anyone. That sort of behavior could get them “put down” in parts of the country that are less sympathetic to “the BM’s struggle for equality”.
BTW, I agree that what happened to this lady and her little boy is terrible. I hope the guy is caught soon. And I agree with BFC…I’ve never really heard a BM express disapproval about non-black women having biracial kids, either.
If anything, they view it as “normal” or they even encourage it, like in the case of guys I’ve known. If it’s their own child, they show it off as proof that they had sex with a non-black woman. But for some reason, many of them don’t like to see a BW with a biracial child or a kid much lighter than herself. That’s what I find so ironic, the double standards.